What success means to me

For the longest time, I thought success was about hitting certain milestones. Getting that promotion. Earning a specific salary. Building something that people would recognize.

But I’ve realized that’s not what gets me out of bed in the morning.

The real measure

Success, for me, is straightforward now: waking up knowing that what I do makes the people around me —and myself— happier.

It took me a while to get here. This definition might not feel simple to everyone, and that’s okay. But for me, it clarified everything.

No complex formula. No checklist of achievements.

Success is about those small moments when you help a colleague solve a tricky problem, when you share something that makes someone smile, or when you finish the day feeling like you actually added some good to the world.

This applies whether you’re leading a team or just showing up as yourself. As I wrote about great leadership, real leadership starts with your own life and behavior—it’s fundamentally about making the people around you better, not just achieving targets.

Why happiness matters

I used to think that focusing on happiness was somehow trivial. Like it wasn’t “serious” enough as a goal. But I’ve learned that making people happy —genuinely happy— is one of the hardest and most rewarding things you can do.

What does this mean in practice?

• Being present when someone needs you
• Creating things that solve real problems
• Choosing kindness over being right
• Finding joy in what you do, even on tough days

When you focus on making others happier, you usually end up happier yourself. It’s not zero-sum. It compounds.

This connects deeply with understanding people and how they think. When you truly understand that everyone processes the world differently, you become better at creating genuine happiness — not just what you think should make them happy.

The daily practice

How does this look in daily life?

For me, it’s about checking in with myself regularly: “Did what I do today make things better?” Not perfect. Not revolutionary. Just better.

Sometimes that’s writing code that helps a team work more smoothly. Sometimes it’s taking time to really listen to someone. Sometimes it’s just being patient when everything feels chaotic.

It’s not always easy. Some days you miss the mark. But having this simple definition of success makes decisions clearer. When you’re wondering whether to take on a project, accept an opportunity, or say no to something, you can ask yourself: “Will this make me and the people around me happier?”

Consistency over perfectionism

Here’s something I’ve learned the hard way: success is built through consistency, not perfection.

Perfectionism will paralyze you. It whispers that nothing is good enough, that you should wait until conditions are ideal, that one mistake invalidates everything. It’s a trap.

What actually works? Showing up. Day after day. Building small habits that compound over time.

As James Clear explains in Atomic Habits, real change comes from the compound effect of hundreds of small decisions. You don’t need to be perfect. You need to be consistent.

Don’t try to make a habit perfect, just repeat it.

This means:

• Writing a few lines of code every day beats waiting for the perfect architecture
• Having a short, genuine conversation beats waiting for the perfect moment
• Making small improvements consistently beats waiting for the big breakthrough

The goal isn’t to never fail. It’s to build habits that align with making yourself and others happier, and to keep showing up even when you stumble.

This is where the process itself becomes the goal. It’s not about reaching some final destination of “being successful” — it’s about building daily habits and practices that align with what actually matters to you.

Success is personal

Your definition of success will probably be different from mine, and that’s not just okay — it’s necessary.

“Have I always been like this?” The answer is no. I certainly wasn’t. Our understanding of what matters evolves as we grow. That’s part of the journey.

If you’re feeling stuck or unsure about what you’re working toward, try this: figure out what truly makes you and the people you care about happier. Not what you think should make you happy. Not what looks impressive from the outside.

Just what actually works for you.

And be ready to embrace the change when your definition shifts — because it will. What success means to you today might look different tomorrow. That’s not failure. That’s growth.

At the end of the day, if you wake up knowing that what you do brings more happiness into the world —including your own— you’re probably doing something right.

That feels like success to me.

Thanks to my friend Toni, for bringing up this question and inspiring this reflection.