Chapter 17: July 2016
July 01, 2016 - 1363 words - 7 mins Found a typo? Edit me
Understanding
Realizing the delicacy of the whole, the daily and necessary effort to remain consistent in our eagerly sought satisfaction. In this yearning for emotions, sometimes so disparate that like a tide could be reflected on the same ocean.
We would like to resemble calm waters, but only to the extent necessary. Because needing what we desire is not the same as desiring what we might need. So much prudence is needed to keep ourselves coherent in this reality full of unforeseen events.
Because, in the end, everything will be a matter of comprehension and understanding the world: its responsiveness to our restlessness, its daily novels and lost stories, its desolate uncertainties forgotten in possible infinite chaos… It will be an illusion beyond understanding anything that escapes our comprehension.
This confusion is without an apparent beginning or answer. Decisions that could have annihilated us. Readings of life that we failed to understand. Arguments that didn’t even know how to find a place in our understanding.
Comprehensive understanding of reading our lives daily: that will be the majority of our deepest and most sincere unanswered questions.
Eternal Return
We will refer to an eternal return only if the sincere pursuit of our improvement is being carried out. We will make mistakes again and surely fail in many of our attempts, but in the end, we will return to our path, where our profound personal improvement will be the goal.
Realizing this return not by reading it but by living it. Experience will be our most outstanding teacher if we let it teach us. Open doors will be offered to us, or maybe we have opened them ourselves, but with the real importance of our word, it will be up to us to decide and act accordingly; we refer to the duty of whether to enter them or not.
Returning not to another possible life—uncertain as it may be—but in this one. Feeling overwhelmed to warn ourselves, another day, of our long-awaited desire, flooding us again without prior notice.
As paradoxical as answers, we might find the meaning of what we genuinely want to discover. And possibly, part of our journey lies there: in the attempt to maintain our course with more or less clarity depending on the occasions we encounter, but above all, on how we face them.
Stages that close. Beginnings that end. Endings that approach. We, as eternal temporaries.
Disposition
Thinking that we cannot or are incapable of more is simply a fallacy. What we understand as our actual capacity, or rather what we believe we know, is a mere and abstract perception of what we estimate. Estimating will be nothing but considering what is necessary to reach a settled goal.
The proximity of our perception to what we expect from the reality around us will be directly proportional to our predisposition and our preparation for it.
The simple denial of our possible predisposition to what we want to achieve will imply, without the need for words or other arguments, a disconcerting brake. A brake guilty of our lack of breath, whose mysteries will grow as the days pass, using our doubts to step stronger and stronger.
The question of the question. Let’s prepare our disposition towards and for ourselves. Improve our skills without stopping to educate ourselves, but above all, never stop wanting to improve.
It is time to pay more attention to ourselves, especially when we need it most. Who said there was a hurry in this game where the will does not necessarily always have to go along with our final decisions? This is what we mean when we talk about perseverance in our training: we will never know with certainty if this will be, fortunately, or unfortunately, the last day of our lives.
As valuable and unique as we have wanted to work on them. As invaluable and extraordinary as we have wanted to consider them. As brave and accurate as we have tried to shape them throughout this journey.
While Time Passes
As the years go by, our existence is forced to wither. The longevity of our life will be as limited as it could unexpectedly be surprised at so many accidental points.
Over time, everything happens except time itself, which, with cold blood, seems to remain static and, simultaneously, the center and root of any topic.
Maybe we are only returning again and again to that moment so longed for by us. What is casual in this life? If not, what could escape our time?
As time passes, nothing can stop; everything is conditioned by it. Everyone, without exception, is concerned. Time does not exist, but we do, and we cannot control it.
With its transition, it is the only one that does not elapse. Every second, every moment… it is not it that happens, but us.
We are not referring to what is nothing more than an invention that helps us count, measure, and calculate in the end. We talk about those moments that pass not only when we look up but also when we lower or turn our glance. The time that passes when we think we are letting time pass, what we are letting pass is not time but ourselves.
Some
We will not realize what is truly important to us until we feel desperately that sensation that empirically demonstrates, from its maximum complexity to its timid simplicity, the fruits of the path we are pursuing.
Some will never be ready, not because they cannot, but because they will not want to be more than what they could believe within their already conditioned comfort.
Because it is not about what we are now but where we are being directed at this precise moment by our attitude and will and how we pay attention to them within the limits of our possibilities. Because beyond the mere fact of the decisions we may make, we will have to assume their risks and act accordingly: that will be the main difference between some and others.
Not everyone will dare to be part of it. Not everyone will want to be, as not everyone will be willing to pay a price that could exceed us. Nothing could be further from the truth because what will indeed overwhelm us is, for the most part, the neglect of our deep and sincere listening to what we desire.
Fear of responsibilities, excess freedom, enriching experience, and well-spent time. The fear of ceasing to be what barely required effort to maintain due to its constantly changing evolution that every day requires time and attention. The Superman will not be possible overnight.
The Most Difficult
The most challenging aspect of life is understanding the coexistence that exists and will exist with ourselves. I learned that not every day will be perfect in our eyes, and there will be even more than one where we feel genuinely overwhelmed, even by ourselves.
The day will come when we realize how wrong we can be; in that realization, we are fortunate in our learning, especially when it concerns ourselves. We will become who we want to be if we are honest with ourselves.
Living in a lie or a simply unconscious reality will subtract from us the life that belongs to us and everything we could experience. We can assert, therefore, without any fear, that the truth lies in sincerity towards ourselves.
The most challenging thing in this life is to learn from and for ourselves. There will not necessarily be two identical days, but each one will be different in the degree to which we choose to invest and move forward. Undoubtedly, the most difficult will be to achieve an understanding of variety in every sense.
The most challenging part will be to renounce conformity, especially when everything seems to be heading in the direction we expected. We must take each step carefully because the most difficult will come then: surprises from life that we will have to face with no possibility of evasion.
The most difficult will be recognizing that perspectives can change our perceptions of an apparent same and unique reality.